| Taoism |
Shit happens. |
| Confucianism |
Confucius say, “Shit happens.” |
| Buddhism |
If shit happens, it isn’t really shit. |
| Zen Buddhism |
What is the sound of shit happening? |
| Hinduism |
This shit happened before. |
| Mormonism |
This shit is going to happen again. |
| Islam |
If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah. |
| Stoicism |
This shit is its own reward. |
| Protestantism |
Let this shit happen to someone else. |
| Calvinism |
Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough. |
| Pentecostalism |
In Jesus’ name, heal this shit! |
| Catholicism |
Shit happens because you deserve it. |
| Judaism |
Why does this shit always happen to us? |
| Zoroastrianism |
Shit happens half the time. |
| Marxism |
This shit is going to hit the fan. |
| Atheism |
No shit. |
| Seventh Day Adventist |
No shit on Saturdays. |
| Existentialism |
Absurd shit. |
| Agnosticism |
What is this shit? |
| Nihilism |
Who gives a shit? |
| Deconstruction |
Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives. |
| Christian Science |
Shit is in your mind. |
| Moonies |
Only happy shit really happens. |
| Jehovah’s Witnesses |
Knock, Knock, shit happens. |
| Scientology |
Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard |
| Hare Krishna |
Shit happens, Rama Rama. |
| Hedonism |
There’s nothing like a good shit happening. |
| Rastafarianism |
Let’s smoke this shit. |
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