Taoism |
Shit happens. |
Confucianism |
Confucius say, “Shit happens.” |
Buddhism |
If shit happens, it isn’t really shit. |
Zen Buddhism |
What is the sound of shit happening? |
Hinduism |
This shit happened before. |
Mormonism |
This shit is going to happen again. |
Islam |
If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah. |
Stoicism |
This shit is its own reward. |
Protestantism |
Let this shit happen to someone else. |
Calvinism |
Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough. |
Pentecostalism |
In Jesus’ name, heal this shit! |
Catholicism |
Shit happens because you deserve it. |
Judaism |
Why does this shit always happen to us? |
Zoroastrianism |
Shit happens half the time. |
Marxism |
This shit is going to hit the fan. |
Atheism |
No shit. |
Seventh Day Adventist |
No shit on Saturdays. |
Existentialism |
Absurd shit. |
Agnosticism |
What is this shit? |
Nihilism |
Who gives a shit? |
Deconstruction |
Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives. |
Christian Science |
Shit is in your mind. |
Moonies |
Only happy shit really happens. |
Jehovah’s Witnesses |
Knock, Knock, shit happens. |
Scientology |
Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard |
Hare Krishna |
Shit happens, Rama Rama. |
Hedonism |
There’s nothing like a good shit happening. |
Rastafarianism |
Let’s smoke this shit. |
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