My fifth short story
I’m thoroughly enjoying my summertime project of crafting short stories.
Today I’ve added to my web site my fifth story called “Six Degrees Of Separation”.
In some respects it’s my most ambitious effort yet, so I hope that you’ll give it a go and let me know what you think of it.
August 22nd, 2009 at 10:24 am
Yes, I liked this one – but it left me wanting more.
Luckily I knew what the title meant.
When number 6 and then publish?
August 23rd, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I love “Six Degrees”; very evocative; feel as though I’ve been to Benares now; brilliant little cameos and encounters.
August 24th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Really enjoyed your latest short story.
I was deeply engrossed in it when I discovered that Fernando Lopez wasn’t Mexican after all, but Italian. Unless Signor Lopez is really Señor Lopez.
But finally you left me wondering what a Polynesian girl from Tonga might be doing in Zambia, and a black Polynesian at that. Well, I guess twists in plot are what make stories all the more fascinating.
I guess they allow for two more tales in this delightful story.
August 24th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Babs,
One of the many advantages of publishing my stories on my web site is that I can correct mistakes and improve drafting.
You’re right – it should be Señor Lopez and I’ve now corrected that.
But Tonga really is a local language in Zambia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonga_language_%28Zambia%29
The hotel exists, Mutinta exists, and the language terms I’ve used were advised by her.
Strange as it may seem, the people of Tonga do not speak Tonga but Tongan.
August 24th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
I have to say that I did thoroughly enjoy your latest story, especially as in the end it turns into six degrees of unification (if they get it on of course!).
August 25th, 2009 at 11:12 am
I have just finished reading story 5 – excellent.
Have you thought of publishing it elsewhere ?
September 7th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
I’m impressed by the short stories – they’re really good. The sentences seem to scan well and have good meter. I enjoyed the idea of six degrees of separation. Didn’t we work with a Kurt Van Haaren once?
September 13th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I haven’t had time to write feedback on your short stories. I have enjoyed reading them, and applaud your efforts and encourage you to continue writing.
The first time I read a story, it is for the pleasure of reading it. I need to read them a second time, or even a third to begin to provide constructive feedback.
BTW, I really enjoyed the cosmopolitan “path” taken in “Six Degrees” – but you do need to give credit to Kevin Bacon. There may be copyright protection for the title.
September 27th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Huhho! another enjoyable story, or should I say novella! Well done.
Interesting watching the development of various themes in your stories…
January 21st, 2010 at 11:03 pm
I looked at the “six degrees of separation” and loved the story, I look forward to reading them all. You are truly talented. Look forward to the book launch.