Totally licked – Postman Pat meets the Royal Mail\u2019s new pricing-in-proportion scheme<\/b>
\n\u201cGood morning, Mrs Goggins,\u201d said Postman Pat in his cheerful way as he did every morning. Mrs Goggins, on the other hand, did not seem her usual self at all, distinctly frazzled in fact. Perhaps it was the queue, Pat thought; he had never seen so many rather cross-looking customers packed into Greendale\u2019s post office shop.
\n\u201cOh Pat,\u201d she exclaimed. \u201cI\u2019m in a terrible pickle. I cannot make head or tail of this pricing-in-proportion scheme the Royal Mail\u2019s brought in.\u201d She sobbed and reached across a pile of odd-sized envelopes for the Valium.
\n\u201cNow, now Mrs Goggins,\u201d Pat said soothingly, discreetly moving all sharp objects away from her, \u201cit can\u2019t be that bad. Though come to think, Mrs Peet practically spat at me today, most unlike her. What\u2019s it all about, then?\u201d
\n\u201cWell, Pat,\u201d spluttered Mrs Goggins, \u201cfor the past, well, 166 years or so, the Post Office has charged for everything by weight, but some genius up top says I now have to charge by size as well. A basic letter is only a basic letter if it weighs under 100 grams, whatever they are, and is less than 24cm long, 16.5cm wide and 0.5cm thick.\u201d
\n\u201cThat does sound complicated,\u201d Pat responded sympathetically, carefully removing the ball of string that Mrs Goggins had somehow contorted into the shape of a noose, \u201cbut what does it really mean in practice?\u201d \u201cIt means\u201d, Mrs Goggins declared, slightly hysterically, \u201cthat if Ted Glenn sends out his monthly A4 sheet Greendale Farmers Gazette without remembering to fold it we have to charge him extra because it counts as a large letter and he won\u2019t like that.\u201d \u201cOh\u201d, mused Pat, \u201cwell, I\u2019m going.\u201d \u201cWhere?\u201d asked Mrs Goggins. \u201cTo become a milkman,\u201d Pat declared.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Totally licked – Postman Pat meets the Royal Mail\u2019s new pricing-in-proportion scheme \u201cGood morning, Mrs Goggins,\u201d said Postman Pat in his cheerful way as he did every morning. Mrs Goggins, on the other hand, did not seem her usual self at all, distinctly frazzled in fact. Perhaps it was the queue, Pat thought; he had […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rogerdarlington.me.uk\/nighthawk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rogerdarlington.me.uk\/nighthawk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rogerdarlington.me.uk\/nighthawk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rogerdarlington.me.uk\/nighthawk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rogerdarlington.me.uk\/nighthawk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=81"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.rogerdarlington.me.uk\/nighthawk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rogerdarlington.me.uk\/nighthawk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=81"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rogerdarlington.me.uk\/nighthawk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=81"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rogerdarlington.me.uk\/nighthawk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=81"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}