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May 31, 2009

Brown's ticking time bombs

As a lifelong Labour Party member, it pains me to acknowledge this, but I've never known Labour to be in such dire straits. Sadly the worst is yet to come because of a succession of ticking time bombs.

On Thursday, parts of the UK will have local elections and the whole of the UK will have European elections. We will have the local results straightaway. However, most of the other 26 countries in the European Union will not vote for the European Parliament until Sunday, so we won't count our European votes until all nations have voted and consequently we won't know our European results until Monday.

What we do know though is that the results will be terrible for Labour. Last year, Labour won only 24% of the vote in the local elections; in 2004, Labour won a mere 22.6% of the vote in the European elections. This year, anything over 20% will look decent; below 20% will be a disaster.

As well as these large-scale elections, Labour has to face a by-election in the seat currently held by the Speaker of the Commons Michael Martin: Glasgow North-East. Ordinarily this would be a Labour stronghold; these days, Labour will struggle to keep the Scottish Nationalists at bay.

Additionally it is not out of the question that some MPs caught up in the expenses scandal may choose to step down now causing further by-elections. It is in their financial interests to stay on until the General Election, but some may find the pressure or the embarrassment too much.

Now all these ticking bombs are well-known and well-understood and there is very little that Gordon Brown can do to avoid them. But there's a less visible ticking bomb that Brown (or his successor) could defuse. It's called the Postal Services Bill. In the Government's language, this proposes to create a strategic partnership between Royal Mail and a suitable private sector partner. In the language of the Bill's opponents, it will bring about the part privatisation of the mails business just when the Government has taken most of the banks into public ownership.

The Postal Services Bill has already completed all its stages in the House of Lords and had its First Reading (a technical measure) in the House of Commons. It will have its Second Reading in the Commons - which involves a vote on the principles - very shortly after the local and European elections, possibly as soon as the following Tuesday.

Many Labour MPs are deeply unhappy about the part privatisation section of the Bill - the rest is largely uncontentious - and will be tempted to vote against it. And why shouldn't they, if they think that it will get through anyway on Conservative votes and if they think that they are unpopular enough already with their local party and local electorate?

So what's going to happen? Many scenarios are under discussion in the fevered atmosphere of Westminster, but let me outline two - one quite likely, one less likely but more attractive.

A quite likely option is that, in the aftermath of a Labour wipe-out at the polls this coming week, Gordon Brown as Prime Minister will seek to give the Government a fresh look by reshuffling his Cabinet, dropping some members and bringing in some new talent.This could happen as soon as Friday. In this scenario, he might well change the leadership of the Business Department, moving Lord Mandelson (who doesn't face any election) and putting in someone more sensitive to Labour backbench opinion on the Postal Services Bill.

A less likely - but not impossible - option is that the election results this week are so utterly awful for Labour that Brown comes under irresistible pressure to step down either immediately or over the summer, so that a more popular Prime Minister can lead Labour into the coming General Election in which the party might still lose but retain a more creditable number of seats. If this scenario came to pass, the obvious candidate for the Labour leadership would be the current Health Minister Alan Johnson. Now Johnson is a former General Secretary of the postal workers' union (where he was my boss) and a one-time postal minister and you can be sure that he would find a quick way to get the Government off the privatisation hook.

I have great respect for Gordon Brown who is an honourable man, but his premiership has not worked for the country or the party. Right now Alan Johnson would be better for both.

May 30, 2009

Henry VIII: man and monarch

Henry VIII - who reigned from 1509 to 1547 - is probably the best-known British monarch because of the size of his body and the number of his wives. But there was much more to the man who provoked the English reformation, the dissolution of the monasteries, the creation of a powerful navy and the promotion of the English language.

The British Library is currently showing an excellent exhibition entitled "Henry VIII: man and monarch". It is really well done and enormously informative with fascinating artefacts from the 16th century. I visited it this week with my sister who was down from Leicester and we were both impressed and educated.

May 29, 2009

Moral complexity in WW2 (1): 'Operation Catapult'

At the beginning of the Second World War, British Prime Minister Winston felt compelled to order the Royal Navy to attack the pride of the French naval fleet in 'Operation Catapult', an assault which caused some 1,300 deaths and around 350 injuries - all of them citizens of France, our leading ally in the struggle against Nazi Germany. It happened at the North African port of Mers-el-Kébir in the late afternoon of 3 July 1940.

This was arguably the toughest decision that Churchill had to take in the course of the war and may well have been decisive in denying the French vessels to the Germans and in convincing the Americans of Britain's determination to resist Hitler. But the chances are that you've never heard of the incident.

I've known about the operation for a long time because I came across it while researching for a book I wrote some 25 years ago. It was a biography of my wife's father Karel Kuttelwascher, a Czech pilot who at this stage of the war was close to Mers-el-Kébir with the French III/3 Squadron. The squadron flew a couple of sorties over the port just after the British attack but none of the Czechs with the squadron was allowed to fly that day because they were felt to have divided loyalties, since the Battle of France had been lost and the Czechs were planning to escape to Britain to continue the fight.

I was reminded of 'Operation Catapult' this week when Channel Four screened a documentary called "Churchill's Darkest Decision". The programme featured both British and French naval crew involved in the event and underlined the morally complex decisions that have to be made in war.

Moral complexity in WW2 (2): Israel Kasztner

Many of you will have read the book "Schindler's Ark" or seen the film "Schindler's List" and know how the Czech businessman Oscar Schindler managed to affect the escape of almost 1,200 Jews from Poland so that they missed certain death in the Nazi concentration camps of World War Two. But what about the Hungarian Jewish businessman Israel Kasztner who negotiated with Adolf Eichmann in Hungary to enable almost 1,700 Jews to escape the gas chambers. This was the largest single group to be saved from the Holocaust - but I'm guessing that you've never heard of the incident.

This is because historically Israel Kasztner has been a hugely controversial figure, no more so that in Israel itself where he was a Government Minister after the war and the subject of an infamous court trial before he was assassinated outside his home in Tel Aviv. His critics argue that he was a Nazi collaborator; his defenders believe that he no choice but to negotiate with the Germans if he was to enable any Jews to leave Hungary alive.

This week I saw a fascinating BBC4 television programme entitled "The Jew Who Dealt With The Nazis". Among those interviewed were Kasztner's daughter, one of his grand-daughters and the man who assassinated him. The programme brought out very clearly how morally complex was the position of Jewish leaders in Occupied Europe as they struggled to comprehend what today we call the Holocaust and to do what they could to give some Jews a chance to live.

Of course, the Holocaust raises so many moral issues and a good introduction to this huge subject can be found in the book reviewed here.

May 28, 2009

Back online (again)

Regular visitors to NightHawk will know about my time off-line when I lost my Internet connection and it took about 20 calls to Pipex and 10 days for my connection to be restored. For the next two weeks, things worked like a dream.

Then, about mid-day on Tuesday, I lost my connection AGAIN. Either Pipex are upping their game or I was more persistent or I was just plain lucky, but this time it only took two calls and two days to restore the connection.

By the law of averages, I should now have fault-free service for at least a decade. Let's see ...

May 26, 2009

Does the British political system need reform?

Of course, it does - and, spurred by understandable outrage over MPs' expenses, all sorts of proposals are being mooted. Today the leader of the Conservative Party David Cameron contributes a major article in the "Guardian" newspaper of all places.

So I've taken the opportunity to up-date my essay "A Short Guide To The British Political System" to list some of the main reforms that have been suggested.

May 25, 2009

How many times have I blogged?

I don't know the exact answer.

But I've been running my personal blog NightHawk for six years and my professional blog CommsWatch for five and half years. I have precise figures for the past three years when I moved to my current hosting location and I can make a fairly good estimate for the entire period of my blogging experience.

I reckon that I've now done around 4,000 postings.

Humour around the world

Here in the UK, today is a Bank Holiday, so I thought that I'd do a lighthearted posting (if you don't live in Britain, don't worry - this is a posting with an international dimension).

I'm currently reading a book called "Quirkology" by Professor Richard Wiseman. One of the chapters is about why people find jokes funny. He writes about an experiment he conducted to find the world's funniest jokes and to establish which jokes were found funniest by different nationalities. Check out the results here.

Wiseman is a briliant communicator and I have heard him speak a couple of times [postings here and here].

May 24, 2009

An audio guide to London

London is one of my favourite cities and the one where I have lived for the last 38 years as I've written on my web site here.

I always like to learn more about the numerous sites of the city and my attention has recently been drawn to this audio guide to London.

May 23, 2009

A brief guide to magic medicine

My views are captured completely in this guide

So why do people believe in these so-called alternative therapies? - see my explanation here.

Clearly none of these therapies has passed the sort of double blind test that I am currently trialling with the polypill - see here.

May 22, 2009

How strong is al-Qaida?

"In the final analysis, al-Qaida is more of a security nuisance than a strategic threat. Al-Qaida has shown itself to be its own worst enemy and is in a process of self-decomposition."
This is the conclusion of a thoughtful and evidence-based piece by Fawaz A Gerges, author of "The Far Enemy: Why Jihad Went Global". Obviously we should not be complacent, but equally we should not exaggerate the threat or the support of ordinary Muslims.

Forgotten World (175): Thailand

What was then called Siam was the only south-east Asian country not to be occupied by a European power and in 1932 the nation became Thailand after a bloodless revolution created a constitutional monarchy. Since then, there have been 18 military coups, the last in 2006 which deposed the then Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra. The country of 63 million is highly divided between the Thaksin-supporting poor and a wealthy Bangkok elite.

The capital Bangkok - known in Thai as Krung Thep Mahanakhon - expanded rapidly with the influx of workers during the boom years and it is one of Asia's most vibrant, and heavily-congested, cities with a population of 8 million. The large-scale sex industry which flourishes there contributed to the incidence of HIV infection - a major concern for the Thai government.

May 21, 2009

How I looped the loop

I have a lifelong interest in aviation sparked by my father being trained as a fighter pilot at the end of the Second World War (he was too young to see actual action). Like all pilots, I've kept a flight log and, in the course of my near 61 years, I have now made almost 500 flights totalling almost 900 hours.

Nine of my first 12 flights - made when I was 14 and in the Air Training Corps - were in a glider (the Slingsby T21B). That was 46 years ago and I never imagined that I'd be back in a glider but, for my 60th birthday, my good friends Andy & Georgeanne gave me a voucher for a flight in a glider from the Booker Gliding Centre at Wycombe Air Park and I only got round to using the voucher today 11 months later.

Now some of my friends have asked me if gliding is dangerous and Booker helpfully provides a risk assessment which notes the average accident rates in the UK:

  • Minor injury: one per 25,000 launches
  • Serious injury: one per 73,000 launches
  • Fatalities: one per 100,000 launches
In fact, all went very smoothly this morning. I flew in a Schleicher ASK 13 and we were towed to 2,200 feet by a Piper Super Cub aircraft. This is a two-seater glider and I sat in the front with the pilot Mike Collett in the rear. Visibility was good and the flight lasted almost 20 minutes.

Mike encouraged me to take the controls on several occasions and was kind enough to comment that I "flew very nicely". I asked him if we had enough height to do a 'loop the loop' which I've never done. He said that we did and so I asked him if he would perform the manoeuvre for me which he was happy to do. This was thrilling and unlike anything I've done before.


Our Schleicher ASK 13 glider


Before donning parachute and climbing into front of cockpit


Our tow plane: a Pipe Super Cub


Wycombe Air Park as we come in to land

Thanks a million Andy and Georgeanne.

Forgotten World (174): Samoa

Samoa is a group of nine South Pacific islands - two large and seven very small - with one of the smallest national populations in the world (just 180,000). The islands became independent of New Zealand in 1982 and the Human Rights Protection Party has been in power ever since. Samoa has seen substantial economic, social and public sector reforms with the promotion of women's rights. The challenge, however, is to create sufficient employment for the young labour market.

Its deeply conservative and devoutly Christian society centres around the extended family, which is headed by an elected chief who directs the family's social, economic and political affairs, and the church, which is a focus of recreational and social life

May 20, 2009

Who is Ida?

Ida is a 47 million year old, perfectly preserved primate recovered from the Messel Pit in Germany. This is the most complete early primate fossil ever found, and scientists believe that she could be one of our earliest ancestors.

She is a remarkable link between the first primates and modern humans and despite having lived 47 million years ago, her features show striking similarities to our own.

More information here.

Health warning

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu - ignore it.

It's just spam.

Forgotten World (173): Greece

Greece is a mainly mountainous country with over 1400 islands (the largest Crete) that returned to democracy - after seven years of the colonels - in 1974 and entered the European Union in 1981. It remains locked in dispute with Turkey over the future of Cyprus and aspects of the Aegean. Greece also has been in dispute since the early 1990s with the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia over the use of the name Macedonia.

Athens stepped into the global spotlight when the Olympic Games returned home in 2004. The games were hailed as a success, despite widely publicised fears that the infrastructure would not be complete in time. However, recent years have seen the Greek population of around 11 million experiencing high unemployment and rising inflation and government plans for pension and labour reforms have prompted industrial action.

A little-known fact is that the Greek national anthem is the longest in the world with 158 verses.

May 19, 2009

The poetry archive

I confess that, since leaving school, I have read very little poetry because I find so much of it (especially modern work) so inaccessible.

However, sometimes it is easier to appreciate poetry when it is heard rather than read and I've been recommended to access The Poetry Archive which has a lot of poetry recordings.

Forgotten World (172): El Salvador

The smallest and most densely populated country in Central America, El Salvador suffered a bitter civil war from 1980 until 1992. The war left around 70,000 people dead and caused damage worth $2 billion, but it also brought about important political reforms. After the civil war, presidential power remained in the hands of the Right until the former guerrillas the FMLN won elections in March 2009.

The population of almost 6 million suffers pervasive poverty, inequality of wealth, rampant corruption, and violent street gangs known as "maras". Remittances from migrants in the United States - some 17% of GDP - is expected to fall as a result of the crisis in the American economy. As if that was not enough, the country has a susceptibility to earthquakes and hurricanes.

May 18, 2009

Ten days that shook my world (3)

I've used this blog to give a detailed account of my recent experience with Pipex whereby I lost my Internet connection for 10 days and only had it restored after around 20 calls to the Pipex first line 'support' in The Philippines and regular conversations with the second line 'support' in India.

The day my Net connection was restored (last Monday), I filed a formal complaint to Pipex via their online reporting procedure.The automated response said that I should receive a response within two working days. In fact, it has taken a week for me to receive a response and this morning I took a call from Pipex Customer Relations in the Republic of Ireland. The results of our conversations were confirmed in an e-mail which I have reproduced below.

At the end of my note of complaint, I had asked for three things:

1) an apology - I received this but, of course, it is easily given especially by a junior member of staff

2) compensation - I have received a credit of £14.77 which is scant response to all the time I gave to resolving the issue and all the frustration I suffered in the process

3) an explanation of how procedures will be changed to avoid a repetition of this experience by any other customer - here all I received was an bland assurance that all customer complaints are reviewed and changes are constantly implemented.

Of course, this last point is at the heart of my frustration. No reference was made in our conversation or in the subsequent e-mail to the specifics of my case. No explanation was given as to why it took so long and was so confusing to resolve my lack of connection. Indeed the guy in Ireland admitted that he did not have the technical knowledge to understand the data on the file.

Yet again I was dealing with somebody who was polite and patient but lacked the knowledge and the authority to deal with the essence of my complaint. It is not the individuals who are at fault - although it is not an easy customer experience to deal with three sets of accents which are often strong and hard to understand. The fault is with Pipex's systems.

As I explained in my original posting, the protocols followed by the staff put too much emphasis on insisting that the fault is something on the customer's premises and then, when it is established that this is not the case, the dialogue between the first and second lines and that Pipex and BT just do not work as they should.

I have heard nothing to explain how it took so long to identify my fault and how the company intends to ensure that this sort of failure will not be repeated. I will, of curse, leave Pipex once i have taken this matter all this way. But I guess that i now go to Otelo which is the alternative dispute resolution procedure of which Pipex is a member.

Response From Pipex

Please accept our sincere apologies for the level of dissatisfaction you feel you have received from Pipex. I can assure you that the service you have received is not indicative of the service we strive to offer to our customers.

Following our earlier conversation, I am sending this e-mail to clarify the issues we discussed over the telephone with regards to your Pipex account, and the recent experience you encountered following the loss of your broadband service.

I can confirm that I have applied a credit of £9.77 to refund the period of no service following the Technical issues that affected your broadband service. In relation to your refund request for call charges to our support line, I can state that, as per our terms and conditions we do not refund for the cost of call charges to our Customer Care line. Due to the inconvenience that this experience caused, I have applied a credit of £5.00 to your account. In total, £14.77 will be off-set against your future invoices.

As you have expressed your dissatisfaction with the level of service you have received from Pipex, an internal complaint has been logged on your behalf detailing all the points you out-lined in our earlier telephone conversation.

Please refer to the following link for information in relation to our complaint procedure, http://www.pipexuk.com/terms/code_practice_customer_complaints.html.

I trust that this is a satisfactory response, but should you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact us.

A man to watch

He is black, he is a Conservative Member of Parliament, and he sits on his party's Front Bench - but you've never heard of him. He is Adam Afriyie - Conservative MP for Windsor and Shadow Minister for Innovation, Universities and Skills.

I first came across him during the last General Election campaign when I was visiting Ascot and picked up one of his election leaflets. I was surprised - but impressed - that the Conservatives were running a black candidate in such a seat. Equally I was surprised that then and now he receives so little national publicity. But he does not seem to seek such exposure and he clearly does not trade on his blackness to win a profile.

I first blogged about him two and a half years ago here. Why do I mention him again now? Two reasons.

First, in the current scandal on MPs' expenses, he is revealed as one of the ten lowest claimers of expenses out of the 646 members of the House of Commons. OK, so he's rich and doesn't need to claim lots of expenses. But that hasn't prevented many of his Parliamentary colleagues from exhibiting greed. The man shows good judgement.

Second, we are no more than a year away from a General Election which the Conservatives are clear favourites to win. If David Cameron does become Prime Minister, watch out as Adam Afriyie makes a rapid rise up the ministerial ladder.

And remember where you first heard of him.

Forgotten World (171): Comoros

It's time to have another week of postings in my long-running series called Forgotten World - a look at parts of the world that hardly feature in our media or thoughts. You can check the previous 170 entries here.

Located off the east coast of Africa between Madagascar and Mozambique, the Comoros are an archipelago of three semi-autonomous islands with a population of just 860,000. They only acquired their independence from France in 1975 and, since then , have seen more than 20 coups or attempted coups. Despite this, the nation is regarded as the only real electoral democracy in the Arab world.

The Comoros is one of the world's poorest countries with a young and rapidly growing population but few natural resources with the islands' chief exports - vanilla, cloves and perfume essence - being prone to price fluctuations. Consequently the nation is heavily dependent on foreign aid.

May 17, 2009

The Lod Airport massacre

Today Vee and I attended the 60th birthday celebration of someone who has been a dear friend for over 20 years. The event - attended by around 40 family and friends - was held in premises almost opposite the synagogue that she and her husband attend.

It was a very joyful occasion but, in her own remarks, she deliberately struck a sober note. She told us that, when she was 23 and living in Israel, she was meeting a friend from a flight when she was caught up in the Lod Airport massacre of 30 May 1972. In that appalling incident, three Japanese terrorists killed 24 people and injured 78 others.

Our friend was one of the wounded with an injury to her leg. Next to her was a man who died. In her short speech, she explained how that day taught her the fine line between life and death and the need always to celebrate life with family and friends. There could not be a more powerful lesson for us all.

May 16, 2009

Five minutes with Richard Dawkins

I agree with all his answers as expressed here.

But then I was generally very favourable to his book "The God Delusion" which I reviewed here.

It's beyond the pale

What is? Well, the behaviour of many Members of Parliament in their expense claims for a start. But what is the origin of this strange expression?

Pale comes from the Latin 'palum' meaning 'stake'. In English, it came to mean a fence around a territory which was under a particular authority, such as a cathedral pale.

By extension, this came to apply to the limit of political jurisdiction. For example, there was an English pale around the part of Ireland under English rule in the 14th century and around Calais from 1347-1558.

Life within the pale was civilised: beyond it, barbaric. Nowadays the phrase is more generally applied to any behaviour or statement of which the speaker or writer disapproves.

May 15, 2009

Ten days that shook my world (2)

If you read my original posting on my terrible time with Internet service provider Pipex, you will understand why I am so angry with the company.

I submitted a formal complaint by e-mail on Monday and was advised by an automated reply that I should receive a response within two working days. Four days later - nothing. But I'm going to take this all the way. As a member of the Communications Consumer Panel, it will do me good to understand how consumers lose out in a market place where public promises fall so far short of private experience.

Meanwhile it's clear that I'm not alone in suffering at the hands of Pipex. In today's "Guardian", the whole of the "Dear Anna" column is devoted to atrocious consumer experiences with the company.

May 14, 2009

Why are we so tough on the Dutch?

I was recently having dinner with some friends including a woman from The Netherlands. I commented that it was strange that the English language contains so many words and phrases that make unkind reference to the Dutch. After all, the Dutch are known for being affable, tolerant, and English speakers. My Dutch friend was surprised to hear this and the British colleagues present appeared to doubt my assertion. So consider these terms - not all actively in use today - which are present in the English vocabulary:

  • Dutch courage = that brought about by drink
  • Dutch treat = a social event where everyone pays for themselves
  • To go Dutch = when you pay for yourself
  • Dutch feast = one where the host gets drunk before the guests
  • Dutch comfort = cold comfort
  • Dutchman's draught = a big swig of alcohol
  • Dutch bargain = one settled over drinks
  • Dutch auction = one in which the price progressively declines
  • Dutch concert = a great noise and uproar like that made by drunken Dutchmen
  • Dutch defence = a sham defence
  • Dutch gold = an alloy of copper and zinc
  • Dutch nightingales = frogs
  • Dutch talent = more the result of brawn than brain
  • In Dutch = in trouble
  • To talk double Dutch = to speak rubbish
  • To talk like a Dutch uncle = to reprimand
  • Dutch have taken Holland = statement of the well known as if it is wonderful news
  • I'm a Dutchman if I do = a strong refusal
  • If not, I'm a Dutchman = used to strengthen an assertion
  • Well, I'm a Dutchman = an exclamation of strong incredulity
The origin of all these derogatory terms is the Anglo-Dutch war of the 17th century. Ironically England has historically spent far longer in conflict with the French, but there are nowhere near as many unkind terms referring to them.

May 12, 2009

Preserving the National Minimum Wage

The National Minimum Wage is a real achievement of the Labour administration in the UK that has made a material difference to many low-paid workers. But some Conservatives want to freeze the current levels and others want to abolish it outright. To support the National Minimum Wage, go here.

You're never alone with a Vergatario

In the last week or so, my mobile has saved my sanity as I've struggled to regain my lost fixed line connection to the Internet [for the 10 days that shook my world, see here]. But my iPhone cost me £269 when I bought it days after it was first released in the UK a year and a half ago [my first posting on the experience here].

Suppose there was a mobile that has a camera, WAP internet access, FM radio and MP3 and MP4 players for music and videos. And suppose it cost just $15 (nearly £10). And suppose it was named after the male member. Would you be interested?

Well, at the moment, it's only available in Venezuela - more information here.

May 11, 2009

My feeling of 'Jai Ho'

I receive over 5,000 visits a day to my web site and two blogs - but typically I only have one or two comments a day. Yet the blog posting that has attracted more comments than any other - 28 so far - is the one where I ask "What does 'Jai Ho' mean?".

The consensus seems to be that it means something like "Victory to you". That's how I feel today - having just got my Internet connection back after being off-line for 10 days and finding more comments on the song. "Slumdog Millionaire" was an excellent film and "Jai Ho" was a terrific song and today I'm feeling good.

Ten days that shook my world (1)

Have you missed me?

For more than a week, I haven't blogged but I haven't been away – so what was the problem?

We all lose our connection to the Internet from time to time and it's very frustrating. Usually switching off the PC and switching it back on seems to do the trick. Sometimes you just leave things a while and miraculously it sorts itself out. But what I've experienced in the last 10 days has been altogether different.

Now everything was working perfectly when I went to bed on last Friday night 1 May. Saturday morning 2 May, I just could not complete a connection to the Net. I spent much of the day trying everything I could think of. But nothing worked, so I called my Internet service provider Pipex.

Over the days to come, I was to become very familiar with their processes. The first line of 'support' is a call centre in the Philippines. Very soon, it became apparent they they could do nothing to help me, so I would always be transferred to the second line of 'support' which is in India. But I could never go directly through to the second line – I always had to answer all the security questions with the first line and then convince the first line that I had done everything I could at my end to resolve the fault and needed to speak to the second line. In turn, the second line staff would often speak to an engineer in the so-called Fault Management Team but I could never speak to a team member direct. I would always be assured that someone would call me back. For the first few days, they did; but later they often did not.

So my first call on Saturday was a frustrating event. Nothing I was told or advised solved the problem - but clearly that winking light in the ADSL aperture of my Speed Touch modem was a bad sign.

Sunday came and my IT guru and close friend Eric Lee came over and spent much of the day trying everything he could think of and calling Pipex twice. We decided it just had to be Pipex's problem and they agreed to investigate and call back. I couldn't send out my “Thought For The Week” or up-date my blogs or web site, but Eric fixed my iPhone so that I could receive and send e-mails (in the year and a half that I've had the phone I hadn't needed this function or known how to set it up). Over the days that followed, the iPhone proved a life-saver but at home it was less than ideal because we live on a hill and, while the signal is adequate for voice calls, it's weak for data such as e-mails or web sites.

Day three without a connection was a Bank Holiday Monday in the UK so I was fortunate to have experienced the problem on three non-working days. Twenty-four hours after agreeing to investigate, there was a call from Pipex's call centre. Once again, they tried to suggest that the fault could be with my modem or my internal wiring but, when I assured them that we been through all that, I was asked to disconnect my BT line for 10 minutes while they ran a line check. Ten minutes later, I had another call: at last they admitted that a fault had been found at the exchange and that a fault report would now be lodged with Openreach.

Day four (Tuesday) and, another 24 hours after my last conversation with Pipex, I had another call from them. I was told that BT had corrected the fault. The problem was that I STILL could not connect to the Internet. Yet again the guy from Pipex suggested that the problem could be with my modem but, under pressure from me, agreed to set up a visit from a Pipex engineer – but not for another two days.

I called Eric again. I'd been thinking of buying a wireless modem router, so we decided to go ahead and buy one now which would test whether the modem was the problem. We went and bought a Belkin N wireless modem router and he installed it – but STILL no Net connection could be achieved. I called Pipex again to explain that we had changed the modem (and for good measure the DSL filter) and the situation was unchanged, so I wondered about the benefit of an engineer visiting my home – but I was assured that this was necessary to locate the fault.

Day five (Wednesday) and there was a call from a Tiscali engineer to confirm Thursday's visit (Tiscali own Pipex).

Day six (Thursday): sure enough, first thing in the morning, the Tiscali engineer visited my home and sure enough he confirmed that there was nothing wrong in any of my equipment or wiring. Instead he said that there was a fault at BT''s end - which took us back to where we were three days ago. I gave them the morning and afternoon and rang Pipex again. I was asked to wait an hour for a call from someone who was working on the problem. The call never came ....

Day seven (Friday): we start again. Another call to Pipex; again I'm escalated to the second line; again they consult a engineer. Now I'm told that they are trying to make an appointment with an BT engineer and will call me back sometime today. After five hours, again no call. So once again, a call to Pipex; once again, I go thorough all identity checks and conversation with the first line; once again, inevitably, I'm put through to the second line; once again, I'm promised a call back – this time between 7-9 pm. For the third consecutive time, no call came.

Meanwhile today it was announced that the UK operations of Tiscali (including Pipex) is to be sold to TalkTalk (owned by Carphone Warehouse).

It's Saturday – a full week since I lost my connection – and I'm really annoyed but it turns out to be the most frustrating day yet. About 10.45 am, I again call Pipex but, this time, I tell the first line that there's no point in us having a conversation - I need to speak to the second line. I'm told that they can't put me through to the second line at the weekend – so I ask to speak to a supervisor. In the face of my explanations of failure to return calls in the past, she insists that, if an engineer does not call me in the next two hours, she will call me within that period. She is as good as her word – and advises me that I will get a call from the second line about 1.30 pm. Of course, I don't and, when I manage to re-establish contact with the same supervisor, she apologetically explains that the second line call has been rescheduled to 5-7 pm. For the fourth consecutive time, no call came.

It's Sunday and day nine in the saga. I call Pipex in the early morning and again in the early afternoon but, on both occasions, the friendly supervisor is not available. Late afternoon though, an engineer finally calls. He tells me that there is definitely not a fault at the exchange and, when I remind him that a Tiscali engineer has already visited my home, he accepts that there is not a fault at my end, so the fault must be with the BT line. He advises me that he will book a check by a BT engineer on Monday morning between 8 am – 1 pm which might involve the BT guy visiting my home (so I'll have to cancel two appointments).

Day ten (Monday): at 8.25 am the doorbell rings. It's the BT guy from Openreach. I was so thrilled I almost expected him to be riding a white horse as he came to my rescue. He immediately established that the fault was with a piece of Tiscali equipment at my local BT exchange in North Wembley. This would require the replacement of a faulty port which could be serving up to 100 customers. He advised that other Tiscali customers in the area had experienced problems too and he had just reconnected a customer who had been off-line for a week. At 10.15 am, he called me from the exchange and asked me to check my Internet connection. Everything was working perfectly!

How to summarize this experience?

When I'm holiday, I can happily go for a week or two without checking e-mails and web sites or up-dating my web site or blogs; but, in normal circumstances, it's really, really annoying, unsettling and disruptive.

Every Pipex call centre staff member to whom I spoke was patient and polite so the problem in achieving a quick resolution of my case was not down to individuals. Somehow the Pipex system or process is at fault: the protocols followed by the staff put too much emphasis on insisting that the fault is something on the customer's premises and then, when it is established that this is not the case, the dialogue between the first and second lines and that Pipex and BT just don't seem to work as they should.

The staff clearly have limited authority and limited knowledge. When I asked for a telephone number to register a complaint with Pipex on how my fault had been mishandled, the number I was given was not in use. When I explained this later to another member of staff, I was advised to send an e-mail – but, of course. my broadband connection was still down! When I asked a supervisor which alternative dispute resolution procedure Pipex was a member of, clearly she had no knowledge of the UK's ADR schemes.

In short: as a customer, I was trapped inside a Kafkaesque system in which the individuals were pleasant enough, but they did not have the ability to resolve my fault and the various elements of the fault correction system were too extended and insufficiently joined up.

I will now pursue compensation with Pipex. I have filed a complaint with the company and a report to Ofcom over the inadequacy of their customer service procedures.

May 01, 2009

How should films be rated?

I'm a big movie fan and often go to the cinema. Recently I have seen the film "Watchmen" [my review here] twice: once in London and then again in Prague. As a result of seeing the same work - one with a fair bit of violence - in two jurisdictions where the rating was different, I checked out the rating of the film around the world as advised by the Internet Movie Database. The result was fascinating.

In France, you can see "Watchmen" if you are 12; in the Philippines, you have to be 13; in Italy, 14 is fine; in the Czech Republic, 15 is the rule; Germany sets the level at 16; here, in the UK, it has an 18 certificate; in Singapore, to see the uncut version, you have to be 21. In Ireland, it was originally rated 18 but this was changed to 16 on appeal. In Canada, it is 13+ in Quebec but 18A in Ontario.

All this begs the question of whether an age-related system of rating films makes sense. Maybe, above a certain age, anybody should be allowed to see any movie, but the advertising material should make clear the extent of sex, violence, drug-taking, and obscene language.